Monday, June 2, 2008

Stan Trek 2009?

One of the chapters in "Silk Road to Ruin" describes my 2000 trip to Central Asia, in which I took 23 listeners to my radio show on KFI in Los Angeles to Russia, Azerbaijan, Turkmenistan, Uzbekistan, Kyrgyzstan and Kazakhstan. (We tried to enter Tajikistan and Afghanistan but got hosed by the outbreak of an insurgent campaign by the Islamic Movement of Uzbekistan.)

It was a proto-reality show, simulcast live on KFI and NPR's "The Savvy Traveler." There's a link to the Savvy Traveler segment somewhere online. But it was hard, and not only on the 23 innocents abroad. It was hard on me to keep this motley crew of 12 to 61 year olds under control so they'd all come back alive and safe.

Over the years I have received numerous requests to take another group of people to the Stans. And so, I hereby announce: STAN TREK 2009!

Here's the specs:

Limited to 15 spots
Fee: aproximately $10,000 per person (does not include hotels, meals, incidentals, etc.--only transportation).
When: Summer 2009
How Long: 5-6 weeks
Where: Uzbekistan, Kyrgyzstan, Kazakhstan, Tajikistan, Afghanistan (and if possible, Turkmenistan)
What you get: A guided rock-n-roll trip through the most fascinating and difficult place on earth to travel
Possible bonus threat: You might be filmed for a reality TV show

If you're interested, please drop me a line at chet@rall.com. Do NOT reply unless you will have the money, vacation time, and tolerance for dicey foreign food required. I will personally interview and pick and choose who goes.
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22 comments:

  1. G. M. PalmerJune 3, 2008 at 7:49 AM

    Aw c'mon, Ted -- one scholarship?
    Don't you need a poet with you in the 'stans?

    Seriously, I hope it all goes well -- a whole group of fascinating cultures and languages struggling to keep going through lead and oil.

    Peas,
    Michael

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  2. SDSJune 3, 2008 at 8:39 AM

    Do you have an estimated cost for the rest of the trip?

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  3. AnonymousJune 3, 2008 at 9:06 AM

    Trip to the Stans? Are you serious? I READ your books. Of all the ways to die, the least in my mind is being executed in a ditch by some Barney Fife teenage trigger-happy Stan with more than one bullet who just wants my wallet but can't control his itchy finger.
    By the way, today's headline: "Kennedy feels like a million bucks after surgery." How about several tens of millions bucks? They have to be kidding. I'm only guessing here, but the taxpayer is footing the hospital bill for the best brain surgeon in the country and Kennedy doesn't have to fill out any forms and look over mind-numbing tables with a myriad of 'choices.'

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  4. Ted RallJune 3, 2008 at 9:15 AM

    Regarding costs, as the cliché goes, bring half the clothes and twice the money.

    Back in the good old days,airline tickets to Central Asia started at $2,500 round-trip, not including visas and local transportation. Now fuel costs have prices spiraling ever upward, so it's anybody's guess how much this endeavor will cost by next year.

    That said, no one with less than $15,000 to spend on an arduous adventure should really consider this. You'll need about $10,000 for the package I'll put together--including airfare, visas, etc. But you'll also need to shell out for buses, trains, taxis, etc. once there. Not to mention extraneous purchases like carpets. No one comes back from Central Asia without fabulous carpets.

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  5. AnonymousJune 3, 2008 at 12:50 PM

    Where is Ted "Obama Shlobama" Rall now? When is he going to admit HE WAS WRONG!!! WHEN TED WHEN?

    After all the pundit-bashing Ted has done, he cannot even admit how wrong he was about Obama.

    HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!

    LOL!! AT YOU RALL!!!

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  6. Aggie DudeJune 3, 2008 at 12:53 PM

    Ted, once again I feel discriminated against as a person without much money (this happens every time I go look at Mesa Boogie amps). The trip sounds incredible.

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  7. Ted RallJune 3, 2008 at 1:13 PM

    "Anonymous" has been harassing me for months with this exact post. I haven't put it up until now because, well, it was pretty fucking stupid. It wasn't obvious that Obama would prevail until perhaps a month or so ago.

    Today, however, in the spirit of Obama's obvious clinching of the nomination, it goes up.

    It refers to the fact that I said I thought that the Democratic nomination would go to Hillary. Yeah, well, missed that one. Anonymous wants to equate that with my bashing pundits like Kristol who get EVERYTHING wrong, including major issues like Iraq.

    I'll leave it to you to decide how good my record is at prognostication, or how bad.

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  8. Ted RallJune 3, 2008 at 1:14 PM

    Aggie, I feel your pain. These trips are expensive.

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  9. The Reverend Mr. SmithJune 3, 2008 at 1:57 PM

    "Anonymous" sure does post here a lot. Doesn't he or she have a job?

    But seriously, I agree with G.M. Palmer about the scholarship. Why not throw some of your book/syndication thousands at a poor unfortunate who would benefit from the opportunity to see the next generation (Afghanistan excluded of course) of cultures we'll be killing in the next war or two. Maybe the winner of an essay contest or something. I, of course, wouldn't enter as I'm buying a home (in Pittsburgh for not a lot more than the cost of this trip) this summer and can't afford the time off from work. I also hate flying and don't ever want to die by decapitation with a steak knife, but to each their own. Have fun! I might email you later about picking me up a rug for the new house.

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  10. Ted RallJune 3, 2008 at 3:04 PM

    Charles, oh, I lament your unawareness of the finances of being a cartoonist and writer.

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  11. AngeloJune 3, 2008 at 3:21 PM

    this happens every time I go look at Mesa Boogie amps

    God damn them! I was so pissed about this that I built a rectifier preamp. It took me a year!!, but materials only cost about $30 or $40.

    I say we DIY our own Stantrek.

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  12. AngeloJune 3, 2008 at 4:12 PM

    Ted has never been above average at predicting democratic primaries, But I thought he was NUTS for predicting McCain in early 2007, when the following was happening:

    1)McCain in a bullet proof vest saying how safe Iraq is
    2)Dissed the Iowa straw poll
    3)supported the immigration reform bill
    4)critical fund-raising failure
    5)Ditched by his top campaign advisers including the co-author of his book.

    How is a Clinton legacy prediction even in the same category?!

    All hail Cassandra!

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  13. AndersJune 3, 2008 at 4:27 PM

    Ach, I wish I'd be going with you, but I doubt I'd pass through the eye of the needle.
    Naturally, money's an issue too...

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  14. chrisJune 3, 2008 at 4:58 PM

    Ted, Fantastic idea! I had wondered if you might lead another Stan Trek. This will be an amazing opportunity for those 15 who go.

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  15. nietzchuckJune 3, 2008 at 6:02 PM

    Ted, is there a cutoff date for the application process? I am driving, washing windows and editing resumes to scrape by through college, but am not above selling my earthly possessions to fund this endeavor.

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  16. John MadziarczykJune 3, 2008 at 7:44 PM

    um...

    Don't you ever feel kind of freaked out by the Uzbek secret police? I've admittedly just read about them but even a Western tourist felt like he needed to be careful what he said to anyone and who he chose to talk to....and that people didn't want to talk to him because talking to a Westerner itself was enough to bring suspicion from the secret police to them. Plus, he boils his enemies alive in oil.

    Thoughts?

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  17. The Reverend Mr. SmithJune 3, 2008 at 8:04 PM

    Ted: 'twas a joke...I not only look at your pictures, I read your words too!

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  18. G. M. PalmerJune 4, 2008 at 7:23 AM

    Oh Heck,

    I know Ted doesn't have the money -- but how about saying for $30,000 you can guarantee a spot and sponsor a scholarship (for me).

    Miguel

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  19. TonyJune 4, 2008 at 8:02 AM

    Ted, just curious, if you had a wife and child(ren) would you consider these trips too dangerous?

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  20. Aggie DudeJune 4, 2008 at 11:08 AM

    Yeah I agree with Angelo here, and not just because of the DIY rectifier, although that's pretty wicked.

    Busting down Ted for predicting Hillary Clinton and being wrong is really cheap. I myself predicted John Edwards to smash the field like a clam on his tummy....now THAT's getting it wrong. Hillary just about won this thing.

    Although, if she doesn't concede this week, and plays hardball to get the VP, and Obama acquiesces, he deserve to lose in November. You do NOT want your #2 to be a conniving, manipulative gamer. We've had those is the past...recent past at that. That's not to say she won't be VP or can't do it gracefully, but if she tries to strong arm him, I hope he stands his ground.

    Ted: Will you be blogging the Stan Trek trip and/or posting photos, etc for us poor people to live vicariously?

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  21. AnonymousJune 4, 2008 at 5:36 PM

    Ted- how come all your left-leaning fans are so poor they can't swing $15K on a month long trip to Asia? Are you going to have to take 15 Republicans (with jobs) with you???? That would be an interesting travel blog to read!

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  22. AngeloJune 6, 2008 at 8:12 AM

    Ted- how come all your left-leaning fans are so poor they can't swing $15K on a month long trip to Asia?

    I am hereby making a joke about Ted getting rich people killed for publicity or direct class warfare.

    ReplyDelete

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