Love Notes
posted by TheDon

The post office is busy this time of year, so I am posting notes to the notable here, where I know each of my recipients checks in most days.

To: Jon Corzine

You are my hero today for signing a law banning the death penalty in New Jersey. You announced proudly that you were signing the law because the death penalty is immoral, since there can never be a guarantee that innocent people won't be executed. I am in awe.

To: Mitt Romney

I just sat through an hour of Tim Russert hammering on you. It is an hour I will never get back, but I must say I came away very impressed. You are one of the most talented politicians I have ever seen, able to lie with a straight face, completely unfazed by video evidence of flip-flops, focused and on-message. But, and you knew there would be a but, I have a couple of suggestions.

When you make up a story about a major turning point in your life, don't put in details that are easily disproved. For instance, you graduated from law school in 1975, so your big emotional moment when you heard about god telling the leaders of your church to allow black folks full rights could not have happened while you were driving home from law school. Also, you might consider telling the story in a way which cannot be headlined "Romney: The Decision to Raise Blacks to Status of Whites Made Me Cry". Just sayin'.

Also, I think your perception of church/state duties is a little off. You said, "If we're all children of the same god, we have a duty to one another, to care for one another. Americans first, and the people of the world second." If we're all children of god, with a duty to each other, nationality doesn't matter, even a little bit. If we're all citizens of the same country, with a duty to each other, then it's Americans first. Hope that clears it up for you.



To: John McCain

So you got the coveted Holy Joe endorsement. Nice. That translates to exactly zero votes in New Hampshire. There is a reason none of the Democrats asked him for an endorsement. In other endorsement news, Ron Paul got the coveted Andrew Sullivan endorsement. Same result.

To: Fred Thompson

If you don't want to be president, just drop out of the race. Saying that your most prized possession is your "trophy wife" is just embarrassing. For everyone. Go home and catch up on your naps.

To: Tucker Carlson

To answer your question today, you are not the only person upset at the prospect of the US Senate outlawing incandescent light bulbs. In fact, our very own Ted Rall wrote about this almost a year ago. TR wrote, "I would rather watch the oceans boil than live in a world lit by fluorescent light bulbs." I am guessing that you will re-think your position.

By the way, calling Hillary Clinton's campaign "so Clintonesque" is "so Tuckeresque".

To: Rep. Pete Hoekstra

You are going against you favorite preznit to push a Congressional investigation of the CIA for destroying torture tapes. You said it is important to "hold this community accountable" and opined that "there's a constitutional responsibility for (the CIA) to keep us informed, and they have not". I agree completely with you, but I have one simple question for you.

Why the sudden interest in Congressional oversight after disuse for a period of time associated with atrophy? Is this part of the "CIA is incompetent and plotting against W" conspiracy theory?

To: The Congress of the United States of America

ITMFA. What are you waiting for? The list of outrages grows and there is still not a serious attempt to stop the assaults on the Constitution. You swore an oath! As harshly as history will judge those morons who went after Clinton, it will judge you even more harshly for sitting on your hands during this dark period.